that’s how many i feel are running through my brain right now, at the speed of light, neurotransmitters fluctuating, seratonin and dopamine falling. my heart slowly squeezing itself until it feels hollow. i’m partly to blame for feeling like this — i never push for what i want, i’m not selfish enough to say outright this is [...]
I feel really disappointed in myself sometimes when it comes to being able to understand my friends’ feelings, especially ones that I’ve been friends with for a long time. Maybe it’s the easy reaction to hearing the dissappointments and the fights and the unhappiness to say why stay with him/her, but I never thought that [...]
While having dinner with an old college friend the other night, one of the topics of conversation we had was about one of his students, and how she had a psychotic break recently, most likely due to the pressure of school, and it getting close to graduation. He describes her as a quiet but clearly [...]
It’s said that the only constant is change. I’m not sure how I can apply that to people though. Certainly physically people are changing as they get older. But things such as habits, likes/dislikes, for the most part stay the same. Feelings however, are they meant to change? How can anyone honestly say that feelings [...]
Why is it that I can’t just tell him how I feel straight up? Then again, what can I really say when my feelings seem to fluctuate so much. “I’m OK with how things are;” “It hurts that you love someone else;” “I want you to choose me!” My brain wants, but at the same [...]
First thought that popped into my head as I started writing this entry is there’s an irony to my topic of how feelings on the internet are so open for everyone to see. It’s mostly because of the crazy emotional rollercoaster that my hormones, neurochemistry, and thoughts have put me through in the last few days. [...]
Was a kinda interesting site until it started going down the whole internet dating road, so I’ve forgotten all about it (and my account) until recently. They sent me an email about someone being interested in me, blah blah blah, and decided what the hell, I’ll see what the dude said. Turns out I have [...]
For the past week, I’ve been trying to install Windows 7 on to my laptop so I can use it for work. It’s been such a nightmare, starting with the partitioning of my hard drive so that I could format it. There wasn’t enough contiguous free space on my hard drive, so I had to [...]
Another strange dream, not exactly a reoccuring one, but it takes place in the same setting as one I’ve had before. I had the first dream around the same time that I moved into my place in Brooklyn. I dreamt that I’d gone to look at another place that my cousin owned in Manhattan, somewhere [...]
I don’t know why they keep coming, but yesterday was definitely another strange dream. This one was me waking up in a hospital, with someone else that I knew who was admitted (but no one I know in real life). I ended up talking with this strange doctor and getting something from his car in [...]