Bluetiful Angel

First thought that popped into my head as I started writ­ing this entry is there’s an irony to my topic of how feel­ings on the inter­net are so open for every­one to see. It’s mostly because of the crazy emo­tional roller­coaster that my hor­mones, neu­ro­chem­istry, and thoughts have put me through in the last few days.

In my strange emo­tional state, it almost feels bet­ter to just blab out how I feel to the vast inter­net where any­one [unless I mark this as a pri­vate post­ing] can read it, instead of sit­ting with a friend and ask­ing him/her to be my ther­a­pist for the hour. I don’t know exactly what it is that stops me from telling a friend — feel­ings of shame, fear of being judged, or just not hav­ing the per­son understand.

So maybe right now I just want to blab, to just dump all of the feel­ings of frus­tra­tion, and hurt, and sad­ness and crazi­ness on to a server, hit pub­lish, and to have every­one read this. Some­how it makes me feel bet­ter that some­one could read this.